Hey, Porter, Hey Porter!
Would you tell me the time?
How much longer will it be
'Til we cross that Mason Dixon Line?
At daylight will you tell that engineer to slow it down;
Or better still, just stop the train
'Cause I want to look around.

Hey, Porter! Hey Porter!
What time did you say?
How much longer will it be
'Till I can see the light of day?
When we hit Dixie will you tell that engineer to ring his bell;
And ask everybody that ain't asleep to stand right up and yell.

Hey, Porter! Hey Porter!
It's getting light outside.
This old train is puffin' smoke and I have to strain my eyes.
But ask that engineer if he will blow his whistle please,
'Cause I smell frost on cotton leaves,
And I smell that Southern breeze.

Hey, Porter! Hey, Porter!
Please get my bags for me,
I need nobody to tell me now that we're in Tennessee.
Go tell that engineer to make that lonesome whistle scream.
We're not so far from home so take it easy on the steam.

Hey Porter! Hey Porter!
Please open up my door.
When they stop this train I'm gonna get off first
'Cause I can't wait no more.
Tell that engineer I say, "Thanks a lot. I didn't mind the fare.
I'm gonna set my feet on Southern soil
And breathe that Southern air."

I couldn't hear you for the TV, I didn't know you said goodbye
I saw your cancelled check for the airfare, didn't know flyin' got too high
Beans for breakfast once again, hard to eat 'em from the can.

I've run out of clean utensils, I'm a hungry nasty lonesome man
I heard the crows outside my window, guess it's me they're talkin' about
The fire you lit has burnt to cinders, every good things fizzled out
Beans for beakfast once again, hard to eat 'em from the can.

Wish you'd come back and wash the dishes, I'm a hungry nasty lonesome man
Caught a cold with the window open, crow droppings o my window sill
Probably got histoplasmosis, got no gun or I would kill them crows
Beans for breakfast once again, hard to eat 'em from the can.

Plastic forks are a dime a dozen I'm a hungry nasty lonesome man
Finally made it to the mailbox, felt so bad I thought I'd die
All I got was a bill from my doctor, well I guess flyin' ain't so high
Bean for breakfat once again, hard to eat 'em from the can.

Blue tick mattress cold and greasy, I'm a hungry nasty lonesome man
The house burned down from the fire that I built, in your closet by mistake
After I took all them pills, but I got out safe in my duck head overalls
Beans for breakfast once again, I'm a hungry nasty lonesome man.